Nightmare: defiant cockroaches

I noticed a cockroach crawling around in my room and instinctively sprayed Baygon at it. However instead of dying, the relentless cockroach was conjuring what seemed like an illusion of disappearing and reappearing behind me. I chased and sprayed at the cockroaches furiously but they refused to die. The initial illusion was the result of […]

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Benchmark of love

I love my girlfriend Shu Yi. I ordered a plate of carrot cake and was handed two pairs of chopsticks by the aunty. One pair was dirty and the other pair, clean. I know I love Shu Yi because I passed the clean pair of chopsticks to her. Hehe, for friends whom I’ve ever passed […]

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On the unreasonable girlfriend

Unreasonable girlfriends get away with their whims and fancies. This post is not about my girlfriend. He picked up his bag, gently flicked his soft supple long hair and walked away with a prototype of the intended final product, not turning back to take a final glance at me. My relationship with a customer soured. […]

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On sales

Dear: Can I really be a salesperson? Reply: I think you can look back at your own life. There are times when you must have convinced someone of something, or at least aligned her thoughts with yours. Hold on to that feeling. What remains is the subject matter at hand. Our reaction: WaaaaaaH! Didn’t know […]

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Nightmare: inception by girlfriend

This was a nightmare. To prevent my ass from getting kicked, I’m keeping this short and sweet. The swimming pool, the 20-storey condominium, etc, the setting was perfect. I stole a kiss on the cheek of this girl I got to know back in junior college. Perhaps I was not charming enough; she told the […]

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Nightmare: my girlfriend died

This was a nightmare. I can only remember it in pieces of imagery. Simon Yam. Dubious detective. Leon Tan. The bad guy who didn’t seem like a bad guy. Led to an infernal affairs chase between all parties to 3 different places in which we had to dig pieces of paper bearing name, email, address […]

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The most difficult conversation I ever had with a customer

My business is going international! Got to spruce up on the Thai language. First email received สนใจกระเป๋าใส่Laptopค่ะ ใบที่เป็นประเป๋าหนังใส่โน้ตบุ๊คสีน้ำตาล ไม่ทราบว่าราคาเท่าไหร่ แล้วขนาความกว้าง*ยาวเท่าไหร่ค่ะ แล้วมีแบบให้เลือกเยอะกว่านี้มั้ย จะซื้อเป็นของขวัญให้เพื่อนนะค่ะ รบกวนทีนะค่ะ *name removed* ด่วนนิดนุงค่ะ เพราะว่าเค้าเกิดเดือนหน้านี้แล้วอ่ะค่ะ First reply International order! Excited! สวัดดีครับคุณ *name removed* เรามีแต่สามแบบครับ แล้วไม่ว่าขนาดเท่าไหร่ ราคาของกระเป๋าสีน้ำตาลคือ SGD80.00 ประมาณ 1900 บาท ผมทำขนาดกระเป๋าโน้ตบุ๊คเท่าไนร่ก็ไ่ด้ จึงขอคุณบอกยี่ห้อและแบบของโน้ตบุ๊คของเพื่อนให้ผมครับ วันเกิดของเพื่อนวันไหนครับ เคอร์เช็ง :D Second email received I almost flipped when I […]

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Mandarin

I always preferred conversing in mandarin, more so than english. And I always thought I excelled in it. This is especially so when I think I have caught my customers by the balls, speaking to them in their preferred language, ie Mandarin, building strong rapport with them HAH!.. until my girlfriend Shu Yi told me […]

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Nightmare: train station collapsing

This was a nightmare. As you would feel when an elevator travels downwards, I felt an initial slight lowering of the platform at Potong Pasir MRT station. I knew I needed to get out onto the surface, quick. However, it wasn’t more than a few running steps that the ground suddenly gave way* completely. I […]

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On technology: Belts buckles

I kid you not. Some of my 20 years old buckles remain good as new, while some buckles as old as a couple of years are already flaking, some broken at the pins and joints. My dad and I arrived at a conclusion together. Back then, they didn’t have the technology to mix metals in […]

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