I'll like to think that I am right all the time, and that presumes the correct methods of fathering my precious darling.
But am I glad for all the tensions at home.
I needn't talk the big talks of fatherhood for at the fundamental levels, I am using the various carry positions that I observed of my mum-in-law employing; I had only held my girl in a single manner, cradling her with her lying on her back so far.
MIL on the other hand carries darling in an upright position both with darling facing outwards and towards the body, cradling her with her both facing the sky or the ground, employing various arm positions etc.
Furthermore, as recorded earlier, Wifey had noted that my active fatherhood seems pretty much limited to functional duties like washing the milk bottles, wiping darling girl's bum, burping her etc. Any emotional connection with her is but a by-product of performing those duties.
Contrast this with mum-in-law walking her fingers up and down darling's belly and chest, making her smile and increasingly laugh her earliest smiles and laughter.
I really know too little despite how I think of myself.
This morning I saw my darling smile when ah mah walked her fingers up and down her torso.
Then ah mah told me that darling smiled when she played music to her.
Interrupted sleep at night is taking its toll on me. I am tired at work and I am equally tired to play full time with my 1-month old darling.
In fact, my fatigue makes it truly difficult to wrestle darling from mum-in-law who keeps watch over her for 16 hours a day. Makes me guilty for settling for the alternative which actually frees my time up.
Lub mummy lots lots. Despite the end of the confinement month, mummy still persists bathing with herbal water cooked by my mum-in-law, drinking ang zor teh and not straining her waist to pick our darling baby up from the basinet etc.
In principle, it should persist till the point when everyone has a certain gut feeling that enough is enough, beyond the arbitrary value of a single month.
Managed to video a first sentence of "words" by darling today.
And those multiple kicks in succession look familiar; her thunder thighs look exactly like her elder cousin's.
Our girl has piled up some fats on her face. But the real piling up is around the belly and thighs.
I just recalled my mum used to have me carry a camera film case but with coins inside. I had lost it and when found at the lost and found, my teacher asked how much was inside. I was something like 8 years old. I vaguely remember knowing numbers fairly well. I replied $2.00 but […]More
Fuck man. It's 3am and my darling is hungry (not cussing at her) and the damn cockroach is in front of the fridge door.
It was tiring to feed my daughter before leaving for work.
Glad I did it in spite of my mum-in-law being readily available to help feed her.
Time flies past quickly and any attitude of convenience causes me to lose precious moments with my beloved daughter.
I am determined to have my darling learn the Teochew and Hokkien languages by having my parents-in-law converse with her in them.
However, it would not happen if I myself continue conversing in Mandarin with my in-laws.
While my mother-in-law switches between Teochew and Mandarin with ease, my father-in-law's preferred tongue is still Hokkien. This is precisely my opening, to ease into my mother tongue regardless of how socially awkward it may be.
When I speak my mother tongue, that is when I can expect my in-laws to speak it with my daughter.
At 34 days old, our nocturnal baby has kept us awake at night for two weeks.
Only last night did I realise that when she releases her latch from her mummy's boobs, it does not necessarily mean that she has had her fill.
This revelation led to a new strategy, i.e. to get darling to latch after unlatching. Even when she has briefly fallen asleep, we should wake her up to have her latch again.
There will come a point when she truly does not want anymore milk.
Our darling vocalised with intention for the first time ever!!
With proficiency, I:
- prepare the milk, bottle feed my darling, wash the bottle
- clean my girl's ass
- set my girl at ease when she's crying by cradling her
However, when I look at my mum and mum-in-law play with her, there is a certain kind love and emotional bonding that I cannot explain, much less emulate.
Despite the interactions with my girl, I am really clueless as to whether I am loving her correctly.
I have been trying to take photos of her leg raisers. But no longer possible. My darling is outright kicking and moving her limbs around already.